Sunday, September 28, 2014

I Am Not a Pacifier, I am a Mother

I came across this article from concerning breastfeeding mommies that struck a chord with me. 

It was titled: "When Moms a Pacifier" and some of the options that it gave to mommies for "handling a baby who never wants to be off of your breast" were:
  • Giving a pacifier instead of your breast
  • Thinking before you unbutton your shirt to give your baby your breast
  • Giving a pacifier when he is awake and distracting him from wanting to be on your breast by taking walks or reading books

This totally isn't a big deal to many mommies out there because this is what most sites and books teach-that a pacifier is the answer to all-but come on now. Don't they even realize that the breast was the first pacifier ever invented? This is why pacifiers or "dummies" were formed and shaped after a female nipple! Yes, God knew what He was doing.

I guess what really pissed me off was the fact that it made some women feel wrong for "being a pacifier." You aren't a damn pacifier-you are a mother! Embrace that shit! Don't jump to the pacifier each and every time your baby needs you-use what you were born with: BOOBS! They hold a lot of power in persuasion, trust me.

According to Kelly Mom, "Breastfeeding your child to sleep and for comfort is not a bad thing to do– in fact, it’s normal, healthy, and developmentally appropriate."

The breast was created to provide nutrition and food for your child.
The breast was also made to provide pleasure and comfort to your husband.
The breast was ALSO made to provide pleasure and comfort to your child-just in a different way than your spouse.

Breastfeeding is much more than just about feeding. It is a special relationship, a calming bond between mother & child. It calms your child and helps them handle stress. Notice when your baby cries and as soon as he latches on, BOOM! No more tears :)

Comfort nursing is totally normal and encouraged.You are not creating a bad habit by allowing your baby to fall asleep on your breast. After all, breastfeeding releases hormones that makes babies feel tranquil and sleepy. They are off before they even know it! 

I will be honest, though. I wake up 2-4 times per night STILL, after almost 8 months, and whenever my son cries, I give him the breast. I would say that 75% of the time, he will suckle for a few seconds, and off he goes back into dreamland. He is not hungry-he just wants to know I am near. And I love showing him, that I am there for him.

If you feel that your baby "wants to be on the boob all the time," try carrying him in a sling or holding him more often. Don't distract him away from what he is desperately asking you for. He wants comfort and if your breasts need a break, show him some comfort in other ways, if need be. 

If your baby will not give you a break at all and you are feeling frustrated and pushed to your limit-then maybe a pacifier can be your best option available. Every baby, every mother, and every situation is completely different and I won't judge you for it! You are doing the very best that you can.

Now, I am not 100% against the use of pacifiers-we have used them in our home! If you choose to use one that does not mean that you are a bad mother! I think almost every mother on the planet has used one and sometimes, they can be a total lifesaver! However, I do not give my son one to make him hush or when he wants the breast.

Every mother has her own unique way of raising her baby and her own values. This article should definitely be taken as opinion only. Do whatever works best for you and do not feel guilty either way. Personally, I cannot, with a conscience, deny my son the comfort that he asks for.

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