Thursday, April 23, 2015

3 Steps to Dealing With Haters

Imagine this:

You are on the path to bettering yourself. You are feeling good and possibly even looking good as well. Or perhaps, you have been working pretty hard on your career and the success is starting to come fullswing for you. 

Then... there are a few key family members, friends, acquaintences, or even strangers who have arrived to put THEIR own spin on your positive outcomes.

You will have a great deal of supportive people who will cheer you on along the way, but don't think for one second that those haters aren't gonna come and do what they do best: hate on.

It is SO hard to make a positive change in your life whether it be weight loss, getting more fit, eating better, spending more time with your kids, starting your own business, making more money, etc. 

When people see that change in you, one of two things happen:
1. They will congratulate you and offer praise for your accomplishments.
2. They will open their mouths and let the negativity pour out... OR... they will open their mouths (or type with their hands in most cases these days) their rude opinion of you and what you have done with your life.

Why the latter? People are jealous. They, themselves, want to make the same change you have made and they can't help but to get angry-mostly at themselves, but then they project that hate onto you. By being successful at whatever it is that you are doing, you instantly become an easy target of their insecurities. Think about it... you have never seen a truly happy person tearing down another person online. Most of the time, if someone is trying to bring you down, it is because you are doing something right.

Instead of changing themselves, they will usually:

  • find something wrong in what your are doing.
  • criticize your efforts and accomplishments.
  • try to drag you down to their level.
  • match or override their successes/accomplishments to your own.
Wow, that is a lot of effort huh? Why on Earth would someone want to take the time out of their lives to be so negative? One main reason: to make themselves feel better about their own lives. 

Check out one of my all-time favorite quotes, below:

Aristotle had it right. Now, what fun would it be to do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing? Not very fun at all. Haters want you to sit back and not do anything with your life. Simple as that.

Here are 3 steps to dealing with haters:
  1. Realize that it is impossible to escape haters. Seriously. If you really think that haters are gonna stop, then I really don't know what to tell ya. Haters thrive and life on spreading the hate, so just know this as you deal with your day-to-day duties. Just as Aristotle said above, if you really want to avoid getting hated on, just sit there like a tree inside your home-don't answer phones, don't get alone, don't speak or do anything! All kidding aside, once you come to the realization that it will happen-and that it happens to everyone-life will get a whole lot smoother and you'll stop caring as much as you used to.
  2. Evaluate who the criticism is coming from. Who is it that's talking shit about you? It is your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend or husband's ex-wife? Is it an old friend who you've lost ways with? Is it the slightly overweight family member sho's picking on your strides to a healthier lifestyle? If you consider who the source if of the hateful comments, then you are more than likely able to figure up the reason of why they are saying what they say. If it is a stranger on the internet who just decided to get brave behind their keyboard-like what I deal with on a daily basis-then don't sweat it. They don't know you nor do they know your life. Why should their opinions matter? Actually, why should ALL haters' opinions matter anyway? 
  3. Smile. At the end of the day, smile, wave, and be thankful for the life that you have. Haters are taking notice because you are doing something fantastic. Whether its a 10lb weightloss, a recent job promotion, or you just bought something they wished that they, too, could have-they are thinking of you. Return the favor to yourself and don't think of them, much less their petty little comments that won't change anything :)

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