Friday, November 21, 2014

The Truth About Postpartum Sex

Sex after baby is a highly talked about topic when it comes to the postpartum experience.

Doctors say "no sex" until after getting the clear at your 6 week postpartum check up. If you had any complications during the delivery, then that time may even be extended. Regardless of when the doctor tells you that you can have sex again, the main issue is: you are scared to!

Most of the fear comes from simply not knowing what to expect-especially if this is your first baby. It is totally normal to feel this way! I am not going to lie to you. You obviously clicked this link to find out the truth about postpartum sex, so here it is. At least MY experience.

Keep in mind that every woman, delivery, and vagina is totally different. Experiences may vary.

My husband and I did not have sex until I was about 8 weeks postpartum or so. I was given the clear at my 6 week check up, but I had a complication with a labial adhesion which had to be cut (ouch!). Thanks to the drop in my hormones. 

Anyway, the first time, oh yes. I will tell you this: take at least 30 minutes to try having sex again. It hurts like HELL. When I say like hell, I mean it STINGS, BURNS, ACHES-you name it. Might be really funny to imagine because, after all, you just pushed a bowling ball through your vagina and now, a penis is going to hurt that bad? (insert: eyeroll)

Does it really hurt?
YES! Simply put. I had a minor tear with a little bit of stitching and it still hurt like the dickens. (no pun intended)

What part actually hurts? 
The part that I believe hurts the most is the actual vaginal opening itself, at the beginning. It is almost like the "ring of fire" all over again-just a minor version. YES, OKAY I AM A PANSY! DAMN!

Will sex ever feel the same again?
Absolutely! At 9 months postpartum, the pain is nearly gone. If there is any pain, it usually subsides within a minute. No need for lube anymore! YAY!

My advice? 
  • LUBE. Invest in lots of LUBE.
  • Have sex often so your body can get used to it again. Sounds painful-it will be-but it will take the pain away. Think of it like working out. Your muscles are sore or it may hurt like hell to lift all that weight. But the more you do it, the more your body adjusts.
  • GO SLOW. By slow, think of sitting in a chair, facing a wall, and watching paint dry.
  • Take it easy. You cannot just jump back into the Kama Sutra book just yet. Keep it simple. 
  • COMMUNICATE with your partner. Don't be afraid to speak up if it hurts. Chances are, your husband has no idea how it feels for you. 
  • Have fun! Drink a glass of wine before hand if you are THAT nervous. After all, it is just sex :)

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