...in the great scheme of things, that is.
Ok, so the title is a bit harsh. But hear me out first.
The other day, I read a recent study online about engagement and wedding rings. It stated that the cheaper the ring, the better and more successful the marriage will be.
Hmmm. This seems to hold true, at least in my first marriage.. until I realized a wedding ring really did not mean shit. I remember when we got married and I was so excited about my big, expensive ring that I constantly felt the need to show it off. Was I happy in my marriage? Nope. But I had a big, expensive ring.
I remarried and my wonderful husband went all out and got me a BEAUTIFUL Tolkowsky wedding ring set, about the same price as my first ring or so. He could have tied a shoelace around my finger and I would have been just as happy with him because I got to marry this sexy guy!!!!
However, this time, I did not really care what the ring looked like or how much it had cost. I was and am still very happy in my marriage (this time, yay!) and could care less about showing my pretty ring off. Heck, most days I do not wear it. Not because I don't want to, but because I am battling poop, vomit, food fight remnants, and spit up on a regular basis.
Specifically, the results of the study indicated that men who spent between $2,000 and $4,000 on their engagement rings were 1.3 times more likely to get divorced than men who spent between $500 and $2,000.
I think the study is complete bullshit. It has women overly obsessed over their ring size (as if most of us weren't already)-not to mention, the study probably has made women:
- Question the current state or future of their marriages.
- Ask their husband how much he spent (though most women already know. come on, we are women!)
- Feel complete chaos, panic, and worry over whether or not their marriages will last-all because of the size of their rings.
- Focus too much on material aspects of a successful marriage and not the actual reason for the marriage itself
However, I DO understand that the study is implying that focusing too much on the material aspects of marriage and the cost of things can take the focus away from what is really important-the marriage itself.
(Hey, look, its my ring. Who cares?)
But can't we say the same about expensive weddings as well? I eloped and had a courthouse wedding the first time. Divorce. I eloped again and had another courthouse wedding and SUCCESS! I maybe spent $100 each time. We did not have this huge elaborate wedding the first time and guess what-I still got divorced. The second time was the charm. I had no desire for a big wedding because, quite frankly, big weddings don't mean shit either. Besides, you ever notice how weddings tend to cater to EVERYONE else besides the actual bride & groom alone? Sheesh.
Let's face it. People love to flash. Whether its money, clothes, jewelry, cars, a new hairstyle, a degree, boobs-people love doing it. They love flaunting what they got. When a woman gets engaged, the one thing people ask is "When can I see that ring?!" It seems as if all of the attention is on the ring. Why isn't it moreso on WHAT the ring means?? "We are getting married, bitches!"
(My sweet husband and I on the day we married. I chose to not even wear the ring that he bought for me to get married in. Instead, I wore my late grandmother's most prized ring, in her memory. That was she was with us on our special day.)
Ok. let's go way back for a minute.
In Ancient Egypt, the circle was the symbol of eternity, with no beginning or end, not only to the Egyptians, but many other ancient cultures. The hole in the center of the ring also had significance. It wasn’t just considered a space, but rather a gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown. To give a woman a ring signifies never-ending and immortal love. They made their rings of silver and gold wire.
However, physical sentiments of love were dated back even before Egypt. The Cavemen tied cords made of braided grass around his chosen mate's wrists, ankles, and waist to bring her spirit under his control. Otherwise meaning, she belonged to him.
Rings are meaningful, yes. After all, they are a symbol of life's greatest committment: marriage... But that is just that. Rings do not mean love. After we die, the rings just lay there in our caskets forever and ever.. until a thousand years from now, grave robbers come dig you up for your belongings. Sheesh.
But, all kidding aside- at the end of the day, was it that pretty little (or big) ring around your finger that helped to hold your marriage together that day or was it your love, loyalty, and devotion?